I'm not sure what this time line will look like but I wanted to throw in one more challenge this week because it's so important and will be key in helping you manage your home effectively. Bear with me, I will add my own thoughts into this which may or may not be right. :)
Chapter 2 is titled, "Women-the Heart of Homes." Great chapter filled with lots of good things. Whether you work outside your home, stay at home or work at home, you are the manager of your home. God designed it that way. However, that is sometimes confusing to us. We misinterpret that as meaning "Women have to do all chores at all times." Hear me out, please don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself. Here is how I see it....the decision for a woman to stay home is between her, the Lord and her husband. Each situation is unique and different. My calling was to stay home with the option to work from home if I chose. That has looked different over the last 6 years. I believe that a woman's home management looks a lot different if she works. If you work full time I highly suggest you hire someone to clean your home if you don't have children at the ages they can help and your husband is too busy to help you. You cannot do it all. Either that or you just can't be real picky about how the house looks (I only say this if its totally ok with your husband that the house isn't kept up). However, if it bothers you or your husband, find a way to keep it up by getting help.
When I began to work more hours from home, I was constantly struggling. I could either focus on the house or my work. If I focused on the house, my business suffered; if I focused on my business, the house suffered. I talked to my husband and we agreed that I couldn't do it all. So, I attempted to hire someone to clean my house. I wasn't overly impressed with her work and the fact I was paying her. Jeff then decided that he would rather help than to pay someone to come twice a month. There is one thing that I HATE to do and that is sweep the house. I have trouble with headaches and sweeping just makes me feel miserable. So, Jeff has taken on the job of sweeping the entire house once a week (well, that's the goal anyways!). I've asked him time and time again if he's ok with it and he assures me that he is. I also have my grandma come once a week to help me with light housework & business tasks in which I pay her a little salary. When I came to the realization that I couldn't do it all, I felt more balanced. Things were getting done and I was still in control of my home...I just wasn't doing everything.
Here's what I did. Make a list of everything you enjoy doing. Then make a list of everything you feel is a waste of your time and you'd prefer to have help with. Kids can and should help. My six year old folds and puts away towels, mops our two bathrooms and entryway, and sometimes helps unloading the dishwasher. Now, the jobs don't necessarily get done to my liking but he's learning and it's cleaner than it was before he did it. I will occasionally give him other jobs that don't need to be done on a weekly basis. As the kids get older they will gain more responsibilities. Remember you are teaching them to be husbands and wives so its important to teach them these responsibilities. I'm thankful that my mother-in-law taught my husband how to help around the house because we can then share and help each other. Once you have your list of what you don't like to do, figure out a way to delegate it. Do you have a neighbor girl that would be willing to come help out for minimal pay? A relative? Can you swap responsibilities with someone else? They help you clean and you watch their kids for date night? Get creative if the finances are not there to hire someone. Obviously make a plan with your husband's approval but don't try to do it all. However, the challenges we do together will help you keep things simple. I'm all about simple! You'll learn tips that will cut down your cleaning time and help keep your house up even through the busy times.
If you don't work outside the home but never feel like you are home to keep up your home, you'll need to ask yourself a couple of questions. Is being away from home necessary? Am I gone too much? Do I need to cut out some social activities, errands, etc. If you are involved in activities that you don't get paid for such as ministries, volunteering, etc, those can take up just as much time as a paid position. Review with your husband and the Lord what your involvement needs to be. If you feel strong about your involvements, then you should consider your time away from home just like a working mom and the above suggestions apply to you as well.
Also, remember to say NO when you are being asked to do something that is not important to you or doesn't fit in your schedule at a particular season of life. There are so many things I'd love to do but I have to focus on what the Lord is showing me for this season of life. For example: I have two ministries I'm passionate about...moms and wives and music. These are in my schedule; everything else I say no to such as volunteers for VBS, help in the nursery, etc. Hear me out, if that is your calling, do it...if you are already overly involved, let someone else do it. The Lord will provide those helpers that He's called. I also protect our weekends. I will turn down most invites if it doesn't include me and my husband together. Our weekends are saved for us and our family time. The week can get hectic but weekends are a time we know we can spend time together. Do what works for you and your family and then stick to those priorities and say NO!
I hope you are enjoying this journey! I sure am!
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