A Chapter Ends

A huge chapter in my life ended yesterday. It was very bittersweet. I felt many emotions I was not prepared to feel. It was a chapter that began 5 years ago.

Mom Life has been such a huge part of my life. With this group I have developed friendships that I know will last a lifetime and some for just a season that blessed my life. It was a program that gave me wisdom, encouragement and strength to run this race called….motherhood.

In Mom Life I have been the mom who sits and soaks in everything taught and shared, been the team member helping out, and I ended my journey by leading this year. Well, I should clarify that the Lord always leads, He just chose me to be the one to work through. I thought I was leading because I would love it; the Lord had me lead because He wanted to teach me a few things.

The Lord wanted to teach me that leading is hard work, involves conflict, can be a thankless job at times, things will never always go as you plan, and can be physically and emotionally draining. Yet its all worth it when done for Him. My eyes were opened to the warfare that happens in the lives of leaders. When I was focused on an important area for a meeting, say marriage….I was never surprised to find that Jeff and I would have a rough day or two. The enemy is out to pull leaders down and I found this year to be a battle I never wanted to fight.

The Lord never led me here to destroy me; He led me here to strengthen me. I have gained skills, wisdom and strength I never thought possible. Even though it was painful; thank you, Lord, for always building me up as you see fit. He also showed that through my imperfections, He still works. It was never about me, but always about Him.

So another chapter of my life closes. I will miss seeing my dear friends and fellow Mom Lifer’s next year and the years after. I’m thankful for a ministry that builds, encourages and strengthens mothers in some of the hardest times of their journey. I’m so thankful the Lord brought me here and gave me 5 years with this ministry and with the women involved. I’m looking forward to seeing who and what the Lord has in store for the next chapter of my journey.

Buying Time vs Buying Things

I am learning that buying time far outweighs buying things. I fought this concept for a long time thinking I could do it all. I'm quite capable of cleaning my house so why should I hire it out? I love working on paperwork so why should I hire an office assistant to do it? Then I realized that I could either do what I love or do what I'm capable of.

I'd prefer to do what I love.....

Unhurried time with my boys

Downtown in the evening with my husband

Lead a women's ministry for women

Be a part of the Worship Arts Leadership team at my church

Run a part time business from home

Coffee with girlfriends

Date Nights with Jeff

Snuggling time reading or watching movies with the boys

homemade, healthy meals and snacks

All while still doing all the wife and mom duties that are important to me

Instead I found myself stressing over...

a dirty house

an overflowing desk filled with paperwork that I can't keep up on

unhealthy meals

guilt because I couldn't keep on anything

not being able to do what I love well

I realized I could not do it all or have it all. Even though I work from home, I could either use those hours to further my business, my home or ministries (which I love!) or clean my house. Plus I love to lead and have a passion for serving in specific ministries. All of this takes time. So, it was time for some help! When I weighed the cost in the form of $$ to pay a cleaning crew to come twice a month and hire an office assistant to come for 3-6 hours a week I realized that my sanity was much more precious than any thing I could purchase with that money.

I heard of a top executive in my company who chose to live in a small house, wear simple clothing and live moderately for several years while making it to the top all because she chose to hire help. She could have invested in a larger house, designer clothing, extravagant vacations but chose to live a balanced life instead. After hearing this story I realized that it was a choice to either live a peaceful life or work all the time to acquire things that you get tired of having anyways and not enjoy life.

So I made a list of what is important to me and what is not. I chose to buy time and have not regretted it!

For more suggestions on how to buy time, a great read is Find More Time by Laura Stack.

Coming Soon

Isn't it exciting when we feel we have a true direction and passion? I love to teach. It's a passion of mine. I've realized lately I've stifled my passion for a few reasons.

I might offend

I might come across that I know more than I do

I open myself up for criticism to those who don't agree

The heat turns up from Satan when I speak and teach on truth

the selfish list continues....all about how others will view me

Lately I've felt the passion rise again. I realized I had stifled it for the reasons above. Recently when I was asking the Lord for direction He reminded me of this passion I had neglected. I realized that I had neglected this when I was given an opportunity to teach a few weeks ago and LOVED it! Somewhere along the way I had pushed this gift down and I'm ready to bring it back up.

So, coming soon, I will begin to teach through my blog writing on things that inspire me, things that have worked for me and things that I hope others will feel encouraged to read. I don't intend to offend but in my experiences of teaching, not every reader will agree and that's ok. I just want to live out the gifts and passions the Lord has given to me. I'm excited about some upcoming ideas I have!!

I'll still be posting updates and things going on in my life but I am excited to get back to what I love....teaching and sharing what others have taught me!!

It's time

When April started I had a plan, but as April ended God had another plan. Halfway through the month I saw that I could possibly begin qualification to move up in leadership with my business and by the end I had completed month one of the qualification period. Wow, I still can't believe its happening! I've been talking about going back to work and now it seems right and the doors keep opening. (By going back to work means I won't be as available to others as I am now but still allows me to still be home most of the time the boys are home). I have a few more months of intense qualification so its not over and I have a lot of work ahead of me. Regardless of what the end outcome is, the Lord is putting some amazing women in my life through this and allowing me to connect with women that only He could connect me with.

In addition Jeff hit a deer on Monday morning. Praise the Lord he is ok. Just a little inconvenienced without his truck.

The month ahead looks to be exciting with zoo trips, Tin Caps game, end of school for both boys, summer vacation begins and our family vacation to Myrtle Beach. This also means I need to get to planning!! So the summer craziness begins! Looking forward to more sunshine and warm weather too.